If there is something greater than ourselves, what is it? How do we fit into the ever-changing world that surrounds us?

How can an individual find peace of mind, a center, a foundation from which to build and grow when they have no established place?

These questions went through my mind as I sought the answers over my life’s course. This is a journey that encompasses personal beliefs, as well as causes one to question what they feel they already know.

It is a search that led me to a place of comfort and peace within the synagogue, a place of learning, of prayer and of community.

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While I considered this essay, my mind kept going in different directions.

I wanted to be heartfelt without sounding cliche. After typing, erasing, re-typing and re-erasing, it hit me: I’ve already written my essay.

I opened my journal and read through entries made over the past three years. While reading, I went from laughing hysterically to bewilderment.

I had forgotten how little I knew about Judaism or how ignorant I was to antisemitic conceptions and remarks. I also noticed trauma responses left by religious organizations present themselves as ignorance, obscenities and absolutes.

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